hilarious:

Oh Let Me Behead Your Teddy Bear
As crimes against a monarch go, the grand guignol recently uncovered at Wookey Hole Caves, near Wells, England, surely ranks among the most gruesome in British history, with heads and limbs scattered about the scene. The source of all this horror? It seems that Barney, a six-year-old Doberman pinscher tasked with guarding a children's museum, went on a rampage last night, ripping apart a collection of rare teddy bears, including one once owned by the King himself, Elvis Presley. "He just went berserk,'' Daniel Medley, general manager of the museum, said of the mad guard dog. Elvis's bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff. The collection was valued at more than $900,000, and the bear with the Elvis connection was owned by British aristocrat Benjamin Slade. "I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all,'' Mr. Medley said.